Another round of liberating kid posts from Facebook. For reference, in 2018 Lily turned 4 and Anna turned 3.

(Some of these were from me; some were from Julia. Ones saying "me" could mean either of us. Ones from others are labeled.)

2018-01-12

Since Lily started listening to "Heidi" a lot, her language has started sounding more nineteenth-century at times. My favorites:

"When Fani opens my present, she will cry with joy and surprise."

"I will crawl into bed, as happy as a lark." (This was accompanied by crawling across the entire room toward the bed, which she believes is part of crawling into bed.)

2018-01-15

"Anna, what would you like for your bedtime snack?"

"Snacks!"

"Would you like a cheese stick?"

"Snacks!"

"Would you like some toast?"

"Snacks!"

"How about some nuts?"

"Snacks!"

"Ok, but what kind of snacks would you like?"

"Snacks!"

"Could you be more specific?"

"Snacks!"

"How about an apple?"

[Shakes head no] "Yes. Cut. Pieces. Eat."

2018-01-20

Lily: [at the Goodwill, playing with a Barney stuffie] "I think this might be a Hobyah"

2018-01-21

At the end of Scuffy the Tugboat Lily says: "he sailed around the river block!"

2018-01-23

Lily: why didn't you do what I wanted?

Me: because you didn't tell me what you wanted.

Lily: but whyyyy didn't the thought come into your head?

2018-01-27

Me: "Why do you keep taking Anna's [toy] baby's bottle? You have your own."

Lily: "[sobbing] But I don't like mine! My baby has a sippy cup not a bottle, and it has ooorange juice! My baby isn't going to get enough proooteein! [more sobbing]"

2018-02-03

Lily: "there are three people cuddling in bed"

Julia: "can you count them?"

Lily: "one, two, three, four"

Jeff: "who had you forgotten?"

Lily: "I forgot mama"

Jeff: "if one of us got out, how many people would be in the bed?"

Lily: "three people"

Jeff: "and if one of them for out?"

Lily: "two people"

Jeff: "and if another?"

Lily: "one person"

Jeff: "and another?"

Lily: "nobody"

Jeff: "and another?"

Lily: "nobody can get out of an empty bed!"

---

"if we have four people in a bed and two get out, how many are left?"

"two!"

"if we have five people in a bed and one gets out, how many are left?"

"three!"

"[Julia holds up five fingers, puts one down] how many are left?"

"[counting carelessly like she already knows the answer] 1, 2, 3!"

"Can you try again?"

"1, 2, 3, ,4"

2018-02-05

When Anna feels she should be congratulated for some accomplishment, she shouts, "JOB!" (abbreviated from "good job.")

At this point I've internalized it enough that I say it to myself when I do stuff like finishing a document at work.

2018-02-07

Anna's still only doing one word sentences, but now she's added "it" as a suffix:

"Wantit"

"Eatit"

"Likeit"

"Hugit"

2018-02-10

Anna tucked her napkin over her noodles. "Cozy."

2018-02-18

One of Anna's first verbal rather than slapstick jokes: telling me the green beans are pink and blue. "Goof," she proudly declared afterwards.

2018-02-18

Lily, to another kid at the dance: "will you dance with me?"

Them: "sure!"

Lily: "Papa, let's play chase!" [Runs off]

2018-02-24

Lily: "The big hungry fierce aliens are killed now. I shot bows and arrows at them and now they are dead and they can't bother my bandaged patients. I can't find my pickaxe."

I have no idea what genre we're in.

2018-02-25

Risk reduction in parenting: when you realize your three-year-old is definitely going to build herself some stilts, and it's just a question of whether any adults help her do it.

2018-03-09

I brought Anna some shells I found. She put all the little ones to sleep in the big one. "Nap. Bed."

2018-03-10

Lily: "It's funny that it's called a forehead. We only have one head, not four."

2018-03-15

Anna has a solution for everything. The solution for anything wrong with people is "bandage" and the solution for anything wrong with objects is "tape."

Me: "I'll wash this when we get the new washing machine tomorrow. Our old washing machine broke, so we have to get a new one."

Anna: "Fixit! Tape!"

2018-03-15

Lily: "My Baby doesn't like me, because she doesn't like my rules. I make her take a nap after every meal because otherwise she would die, but she doesn't want to."

2018-03-25

It's lunchtime but she's still writing notes on her medical treatments for her bears and dolls. "I'll eat lunch when I'm done with all the patients." I tell her this is not how it works.

(Dette: I mean, it totally IS how it works...)

2018-03-31

"I want to be Anna, and I want the person who is usually Anna to be Lily. But I want you to put Anna to bed in Lily's room and Lily to bed in Anna's room."

2018-04-01

"When we find our Easter baskets, we will just put the candy into our mouths and swallow it down our tubes."

Well, that was a disturbing way to phrase it, but yes.

2018-04-07

[Listening to "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?"]

Lily: I especially like the "Go away, Anna" part

2018-04-08

Anna's approach to the "attorneys general"/"mothers-in-law" construction: "teddies bear."

---

Today she did "kitties cat"

2018-04-11

As a treat, Jeff is showing the kids robot videos during their bedtime snack. His interest in "giant robots fighting each other" (Lily's pick) has waned and he's now showing them footage of "steam robots" which she has not yet realized are trains.

The next video was "how to build a house for your rat out of popsicle sticks." YouTube is truly a wonderland when you're four.

2018-04-14

We've gone to bed, but Lily is still telling stories to Lily bear: "... they grabbed a loaf of bread and a lot of cheese and they threw it into the hole. Then all three rats set to work eating the bread and cheese. Then suddenly they're was a flash of lightning and a big clap of thunder and the rats stopped eating, quickly climbed up the hole and grabbed the two children. The children and the rats were so scared that the children ran and grabbed a big piece of cheese. Then the girl cut the cheese into three slices and handed it to the rats. The rats put it into their mouths and sucked on it really hard, and grabbed onto the little girl and onto the little boy. Then the rats nibbled to the cheese and went back into their hole.

The next morning, when the girl and boy went to open the door the best morning they just saw a big tree that was blocking their way. So they tried ... a big truck came with a very long crane attached to it and a lot of workers with a very long piece of rope. They tied the rope around the tree, and the big truck lifted the tree up and took it away. The two kids went outside and played.

And let me tell you about the big giant turnip! Once upon a time there lived an old man and an old woman. Once the old man went outside and saw a lot of turnips in the ground. They were all the same size, except one of them was very big. The old man grabbed onto the turnip and pulled and pulled, but he couldn't get the turnip out of the ground. He saw the old woman who lived with him and he said "old woman, help me get this big turnip out of the ground, I can't get it out!" So the old man grabbed hold of the turnip and the old woman grabbed hold of the old man. They pulled and pulled but they couldn't get it out of the ground.

Suddenly they saw my whole family walking along the road, even me and Anna and my au pair, and even David and Al and even Yuri and Ben, and even Eve was there. We all pulled it out of the ground. It was so large we allsat arrive the table and are it with butter. Because we were all hungry after all that pulling.

The old man and the old woman had a giant bed, and it had a very long pillow, and it had a very big blanket, three big blankets. One was cold, and another was cold, but the last one was warm. So we all climbed into bed. But suddenly Ange came walking along the road and she was very sleepy. She was just sleepy. When she saw the house and heard a lot of people snoring, she went to the house and saw a large bed with lots of people in it. she saw a big part with no one on it, climbed in, and went to sleep. The next morning they all went home. But the old man and the old woman stayed at their house.

Buh-buh-buttons. Buh. Tuh. Buh-tins. Duke of Wesselton.

[Unintelligible whispering]

[Sleep]

(Luckily Lily tells stories just slower than I can swype)

2018-04-18

[from David]

Lily: "My stuffies [stuffed animals] are mean to me in bed at night. They hit me and jump on me."

Julia: "I wouldn't let someone sleep in my bed if they did those things to me."

Lily: "But I love them!"

2018-05-06

Going to bed at dance camp: "Papa can I tell you a story? I want to help you fall asleep. First I will tell you story, and then I will sing you a song.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived by herself on the edge of the wood. She went on a walk and then the bears went into her house. Then the little girl came back into her house and then she was friends with a friendly moose and a friendly donkey and they lived happily ever after, the end.

Now I will sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star because that's a song for night because it has a star in it. Now I will begin: [sings twinkle twinkle]

Papa, are you asleep yet? [I give no response]

I will sing one more song, to Lily Bear. [sings Ba Ba Black Sheep. First time singing, then humming.] Papa, I hummed to you, because I thought you would like that. [Hums I've been Working on the Railroad, compete with a truck drivers gear change for the second verse] I hummed "I've been working on the Railroad" to you and Lily Bear.

[Hums several more songs]

Did you like it? [I don't respond] I think I have just one more. [Hums "highland laddie" A part repeatedly very loudly with strong down beat emphasis] Papa, that's a song that you play, that I just hummed. I'm happy I hummed to you. [Hums/sings something I think from Daniel Tiger]. [Sings/hums she'll be coming round the mountain]

[Unintelligible whisper singing ... sleep]"

(This was after we had turned out the lights and were in our beds. I was pretending to be asleep so she'd sleep.)

2018-05-06

Movie synopses from Anna:

"Big Totoro. Mei. Fall down, hole. Landed. Big Totoro. Little one. Catbus. Lost. Find'er."

"Elsa, Anna. Push. Ice, slippery. Sister hug. Better. Hold hands."

2018-05-08

"Mama, tickle me, both hands!" - Anna

2018-05-10

Lily asked for her lesson to involve a bear town. I made something I thought would be a color sorting activity ("put the red bears in the red house"), but soon the orange bears were moving into the blue bears' house and they were having a campfire in the backyard and roasting marshmallows and making s'mores "and they are listening to stories on the littlest bear's tablet."

2018-05-11

Lily: Ange, do you wanna have a baby?

Me: what?

Lily: Do you feel like having a baby?

Me: Not right now, why?

Lily: Cause I feel like having a new friend

Me: you want me to have a baby so you can have a new friend?

Lily: Yeah, can you?

Me: Maybe in a few years

Lily: I guess I won't have any friends...

2018-05-13

Reading a book with Anna, asking her to identify parts of the picture. There's a rabbit sitting on a stump, and I get: "broken part of tree".

2018-05-13

"We should never visit Maleficent because she is so mean. She lives in a cottage on top of Mt Everest and it has a fireplace and three rooms: a kitchen, a living room with a fireplace, a dining room, and she has a bed near the fireplace to keep her warm, and a couch is near the fireplace. She never slips on the ledge of Mt Everest, and she can fly up the mountain. She never dies, and she has a big tank over her nose and mouth with air and food and water and stuff in case she gets a cold. And she has a big big... the biggest roof that you ever saw, and it's so big that at the end it turns into an airport. And Maleficent can fly to the airport and wings attach to her back and a magic flying cape attached to her back help her fly."

2018-05-15

Favorite Anna word of the week: eyebros. I've told her several time it's eyebrows, but she likes her version better.

2018-05-16

[from Ange]

Lily: Anna I will never go away from you. We will always be together.

Anna: No! No! *literally runs away to the other room*

2018-05-16

[from Ange]

Lily is giving fashion advice before naptime. For context: I'm wearing overalls but I don't wear the straps, so they hang down.

Lily: Hey! Why do you like the way your overalls hang down?

Me: I don't know, I think it looks cool... Do yo-

lily: Oh no, it doesn't. It really doesn't... It just looks like a rectangle and rectangles are no fun shapes.

2018-05-16

Lily: "When I grow up I'm going to help Jenny build robots. And I'm going to ride my bicycle to work, just like Jenny"

2018-05-18

[from Ange]

Lily: How do people talk to God?

Me: Well, it depends on the religion, but usually people just talk because he's supposed to be always listening.

Lily: Oh

Me: Why do you wanna talk to God?

Lily: I have scary feelings and maybe God can fix that for me...

Me: Oh, yeah, maybe he can help with that.

Lily: ...He gives us what is good for us.

Me: where did you hear that?

Lily: Heidi.

Me: yeah I guess he does.

- She told me about Heidi praying in her room -

Lily: I wanna pray to him right now [We're having lunch]

Me: Right now? Okay, you can do that.

Lily: But how?

Me: Just say hi and tell him what you want to say

Lily: Hi...God, I have scary feelings and I don't like them, can you please get rid of them? That's all I have to say to him, bye!

---

[from Julia]

This is mostly from Heidi, but also from the other day when she said she didn't want to get married and I said that was fine. She got distressed and said, "But I don't want to be a monk!" So I had to explain that there's more to that than being a monk, like living in a special building with other monks and talking to God. She knows a surprising amount about monks for a kid in a non-religious household.

2018-05-24

As Anna gets more verbal, it's fun hearing her internal monologue come out. She's been following me around the garden lately, making her own "gardens" in the dirt and muttering about what she's doing.

"Working on. MY project."

"Problem. Problem. Rock."

"Sand, poke, poke, poke."

2018-05-25

Physics lesson: the girls decided to push Jeff out of the bed by bracing against me and pushing. Guess who got pushed out of the bed?

---

Anna trying to push me out of bed was really cute, both in its innefectuallity and in the exertion noises she was making

2018-05-27

Lily: "I'm going to sing you a very sad song: [singing in her own tune] 'Winnie the Pooh is on the ground... And then not moving. He's dead.' That's the song. I like sad songs.'

2018-05-29

[from Ange]

Lily: Ange do you want me to tell you a story?

Me: Sure

Lily: The story of Noah?

Me: if you want to

Lily: Once upon a time there was a lot of people but they were bad people. But there was one family that was Noah and her wife...

...Noah and her husband.

So God told Noah that there was going to be an enormous flooding so her and her wife had to build a huge boat but all the animals had to fit and her wife.

And then something strange happened, the water got higher and higher and it started to rain and all the people drowned and...

Me:

Lily:

Me: Lily is that the end of the story?

Lily: I think that's the end of it.

2018-05-29

[from Ange]

Anna: your boobs ange?

Me: yeah, I have boobs. Where are yours?

Anna: Nipples. Nipples on me. Just nipples.

2018-05-29

[from Ange]

Lily: Can you tell me a lie, Ange?

Me: Anna is 5 years old.

Lily: That's a lie, another one?

Me: You have 2 dads.

Lily: That's a lie, another one?

Me: I am 50 years old.

Lily: I don't know if that's a lie... Is that a lie?

They do wonders to my self-esteem

2018-05-30

[from Ange]

Lily: I wish we had a maid

Me:What for?

Lily: For them to do the work for us?

Me: What work?

Lily: I wish the maid could do all my work taking care of my baby so I could play and then just watch them on the weekends. I always want to sleep with my baby but I want the maid to... Uhm... Take care of my baby on weekdays. And the maid could share Anna's room. It's a great idea!

---

[from Al]

Lily told me at lunchtime today that she didn't like her job. I asked what it is, and it is taking care of her baby for Butter Bear and Lily Bear, who are the baby's parents.

2018-06-08

[from Ange]

Anna: "Little. Boy. Names. Oli. Wants. Cry."

Oli: "No no no!!!!!"

2018-06-10

Anna: [running, sticks tongue out, says ah-heah-heah-heah] ... "me run. me stick tongue out, say ah-heah-heah-heah"

2018-06-11

[from Ange]

Me: "Anna high five!"

*Successful high five*

Anna: "Give. Me. Fist."

Me: "Aw, bump it!"

Anna: "ba. la. la. du. la."

2018-06-12

Lily: "I'm allowed to use a knife!"

Anna: "Me. Not. Me. Sad."

2018-06-13

[from Ange]

Lily: "Uno. Did. Tres. Cuatro. Cinco. Six. That's how high I can count in Spanish"

Anna: "A. B. C. D. BLAGH. BLAGH. BLAAADGHHR. [She laughs says Funny Song] Me. Said. Haha. Funny. Song."

2018-06-14

Lily: "Is this an odd or an even day?"

Me: "It's an odd day"

Lily: "Then please call me 'Lily'. Remember to ask Ange to call me 'Lily' on odd days and 'Lilyanna' on even ones"

2018-06-14

Lily: Oli is crying!

Me: What happened?

Anna: Oli. First. Me. Take. Book. Not. Nice. [Translation: Oli had the book first, I grabbed it. It wasn't nice]

Me: Did you say sorry?

Anna: Oh... [Walks away]

Me: Anna!

Anna: oh! Sorry. Oli. Bowlie.

2018-06-15

[from Ange]

[Sitting at a bench @Davis Lily and Anna see a Totoro stuffie]

Both: Totoro! Totoro! Totoro!

Me: what else can you see?

Lily: we just can't take our eyes off the Totoro.

Me: what?

Lily: there are two Totoro stuffies, that's all we can see.

Anna: Totoro! Totoro! Totoro!

2018-06-15

[from Ange]

Anna: Pappa, mean.

Me: Why is your Pappa mean, Anna?

Anna: Took. My. Troller. 'way.

Me: Anna he needed it, he's going grocery shopping, he's gonna get us food.

Anna: [In a really high pitched voice] Fooooor. Dinneeeeer?

Me: Yeah! For all of us!

Anna: Not. Him.

Me: No food for him? Why?

Anna: He's. Mean.

2018-06-23

Things Anna has identified as her favorite color recently:

"Green my favorite color"

"Trucks my favorite color"

"Blue my favorite color"

"Eating cake my favorite color"

2018-06-25

Anna: Papa, give me scissors ... I need cut library book two pieces

2018-06-27

[from Ange]

Me: "Anna, chew and eat slower so you don't choke"

Anna: [Fake cough] I choked!

Me: "No, you didn't"

Anna: "Hahahah I joked"

2018-06-27

Anna: I don't want a bandaid, I want tomaaato saauce! ... Beans too.

2018-07-04

Lily plays with multi-tracking: mp3

2018-07-04

Recording of Doris Day, singing: "I'm talking in my sleep about you, about you."

Anna, delighted: "About ME!"

Two-year-olds are the most charming narcissists.

2018-07-05

[from Ange]

Anna: "Please say 'I Love You, Anna' Lily"

Lily: "What?"

Anna: "Please please say 'I love you, Anna' Lily"

Lily: "I love you, Anna"

Anna: "Thank you, Lily"

2018-07-05

[from Ange] Trying to convince Anna not to hate the water

2018-07-05

[from David]

Lily: "Can I watch two videos tonight?"

Me: "Hmm, is that what I said you could do?" (It is.)

Lily: "Yes yes!"

Me: "Am I someone who does what they say they will?"

Lily: "No"

2018-07-06

[from Ange]

Lily: Ange let me see if you have a baby

Me: what?

Lily: let me see... Yes there is!

Me: I'm pregnant?

Lily: yes.. there's something wiggling in there.

Me: when is it coming?

Lily: Tomorrow!

Apparently I'm having a baby tomorrow.

2018-07-06

[from Ange]

Natalia: Ok, Anna, your turn. Let's play I spy, what do you see?

Anna: [Points at car] that blue car.

I don't think she gets it yet

2018-07-09

"Them really good, you have to taste them!" - Anna talking about blueberries, the same breakfast we've been having for over 2 or 3 months

2018-07-11

Other kid at the playground: "You need to put your shoes on."

Lily: "What?"

Kid: "You're not wearing shoes."

Lily: "What?"

Kid: "You're supposed to put shoes on."

Lily: "What?"

Kid: [gives up, resumes playing with Lily]

Jeff: "I like her method, I'm going to use that next time someone asks me why I'm not wearing shoes."

2018-07-13

Lily: Mama, can you give me some of your money?

Me: What do you want to use it for?

Lily: For a job I'm going to do outside. I'm going to set up a tent in my thoughtful spot and when kids come by I will give them packages and parcels.

Me: What will be in the packages and parcels?

Lily: That's a secret.

Me: What's the money for?

Lily: I'll give it to them with the packages and parcels. Each kid will get one package and one parcel and some money.

She hasn't raised any capital yet, but has gotten started wrapping up one of her books and a half-eaten square of chocolate in some wrapping paper. "This will be a parcel."

2018-07-14

It's lunchtime, and Anna is rejecting her quesadilla.

Lily: "Not everything has to be your favorite color, Anna. It's the heart inside that matters. Just follow your heart and keep smiling."

It's like talking to one of those programs that turns out text that almost makes sense. One that's been given input from a lot of random children's books.

2018-07-16

[from Ange]

Lily: Ange I'm done talking to you. I'm just gonna talk to Anna.

Me: What?

Lily: I'm done talking to you.

Me: You're not gonna talk to me?

Lily: I'm just talking to Anna.

Me: Why are you not gonna talk to me?

Lily: Because... Because I need to rest my voice!

Me: What?

Lily: I'm done talking to you because you're making my voice tired.

Me: And Anna isnt?

Lily: I need to talk to her because she asked me a question.

[Anna looks confused because she hasn't talked at all in like 10 minutes]

2018-07-16

[from Ange]

Me: "I'm sad. I don't know Anna, what do you do when you're sad?"

Anna: "I. Step on mud puddle. You bring me home and give me bath and put me to bed. That's what we do with that."

2018-07-21

Last night after Lily went to bed we heard metallic banging noises, and reflected that the number of toys in her bed probably needed to be reduced. This is what I found this morning:

• Four teddy bears
• toy penguin
• two whisks
• wooden spoon
• 1950s metal teaset from the Middle East
• toy pot with lid
• pretend can of beans
• slippers
• water cup
• homemade mermaid tail
• homemade mermaid hair
• bag that belongs to Anna
• Elsa doll, with one high heel
• pretend slice of onion
• plastic fish
• pretend slice of bacon
• wooden bowl
• wooden cupcake
• toy parrot
• foam "We're #1" hand
• baby doll
• baby doll's pajama pants
• teeshirt
• shorts
• pants
• measuring cup
• rainbow hedgehog a stranger gave her at an amusement park

> Her bed is basically 2 feet by 4 feet.

2018-07-23

Anna: I tell you, scary monster story?

Me: Yes.

Anna: It really, scary!

Me: I want to hear it.

Anna: Raccoon hit Papa Bear, Lily Bear. Them's head hurt. Them go them's house. Them get bandaid.

2018-07-24

[from Ange]

Lily: " Anna?"

Anna: "blagh-Sy"

Lily: "Anna-banna?"

Anna: "I'm. Busy."

2018-07-25

Lily told us at dinner she doesn't want to be a girl and wants to be a boy. We said ok and talked a little about pronouns and what makes someone feel like a boy or girl or neither. Lily decided on "they" for a pronoun but looked sad for a while, then brightened, and said, "I'm a girl." We said "ok" and now she's playing voyage-to-an-island-on-a-towel with Anna.

That was earlier and faster than I was expecting.

2018-07-31

"Mama, why do you drink wine if it has fluoride in it?"

Um, that's one of the other chemicals we don't want you to swallow too much of.

2018-08-02

[from Ange]

Lily: "Anna won, the winner gets first price"

Me: "What's first price?"

Lily: "The longest nap. So you have to wake me up first and we have to leave Anna in her room for a long time"

I'm not sure this is a good price

2018-08-02

Tonight Lily gathered a bundle of sticks in our backyard and tried to sell them to passerby on the bike path, "only one penny!" We walked for about an hour but she didn't sell any - joggers apparently don't carry pennies or don't want to buy sticks. She says she'll try again tomorrow.

2018-08-03

[from Ange]

I took Lily's pretend tattoo off today (she's had it for like 2 weeks because "it's so beautiful" but it was like, black) I told her that it had to come off because it was full of dirt. Now we're on the subway and she goes.

Lily: Ange you should take your tattoo off too

Me: my tattoo?

Lily: Yeah, you've had it for months, it's full of dirt.

Me: Mine is not pretend, it's there forever, touch it.

Lily: it feels gross with dirt.

2018-08-04

Lily: "We're going to catch my scary feelings in my net. We have to wear our safety clothes. I'm dressed like a bumblebee. Anna wants to dress like a witch but that is not safety enough."

2018-08-04

Anna: I found chocolate chip.

Jeff: You lucky duck.

Anna: I can talk. I not duck or cat.

Jeff: You're a kid? You're a little girl?

Anna: I big. I climb on my chair.

2018-08-05

Lily: "d-die, Papa"

Me: "what's that?"

Lily: "I was saying hello in Australian"

(Her /g/ is still coming out as [d])

2018-08-08

Lily is enthusiastic about wishing on stars. We've explained the thing about not telling your wish, but sometimes she likes to tell anyway. Some recent wishes:

"A credit card."

"A wishing well and a lot of gnomes."

"I wished that we will have tofu for dinner tomorrow." She hasn't been willing to eat tofu in about two years, so I asked if she wanted to eat tofu tomorrow. "No, I just wished that we will have it and other people will eat it."

2018-08-13

Lily went through a long period where she wasn't willing to draw anything because it would be imperfect. She's finally interested in drawing again, and happy to reinterpret the results as needed:

"I'll draw the head of the parrot...Actually it's not a parrot, it's a walking mushroom that's falling over."

2018-08-14

Anna was blowing raspberries during dinner. I told her to leave the table to do that, and Jeff told her that after dinner she could blow raspberries in the sousaphone. She was so psyched.

2018-08-15

[From Ange]

Me: "Anna, do you like meat?"

Anna: "Noooo"

Me: "Fish?"

Anna: "No!"

Me: "Chicken?"

Anna: "Yeahhh... Chicken from fish sticks."

Me: "Fish sticks don't have chicken!"

Anna: "Fish sticks do have some chicken in it!"

2018-08-19

"I sitted on my baby and Rainbow Bear."

"Why?"

"I wanted to."

2018-08-24

She played me three songs on her Guiro:

"That was a sad song called 'Forgive me.'"

"That was a sad song about a thief stealing someone's groceries."

"That was a sad song about someone who wants to go far away and they went across the ocean and never returned and their family was sad."

2018-08-25

Lily drew a bottle and then drew liquid filling it.

"It's a bottle of a special kind of juice you only drink on New Year's. It's wine for kids. The flavors are lemon and grapefruit and....more grapefruit and wheat and this is cauliflower and this is birdseed flavor but it's not really birdseed."

2018-08-28

[From Ange]

Lily: 'I always wish to run away'

Me: 'Wouldn't you miss Anna?'

Lily: 'No, I would bring her with me'

Me: 'so you would wipe her when she goes potty? And cook for her?'

Lily: 'No, I would bring mamma with me'

Me: 'What about Pappa?'

Lily: 'Yes, I would bring him too'

Me: 'Then who are you running away from?'

Lily: 'I'm running away from you'

2018-08-30

Me: "There's a full bed, and a queen bed is bigger than that. Do you know what's even bigger than a queen bed?"

Lily: "...a horse bed."

2018-08-31

[From Ange]

Me: 'am I your favorite Au Pair?'

Anna: 'You're not my Au Pair'

Me: 'but am I your favorite?'

Anna: 'Nooo'

Me: 'why???'

Anna: 'cause you're not cream cheese'

2018-09-01

Lily: "Be careful with the scissors Mama! Be careful not to snip your fingers so blood starts leaking out. Because I don't know how we would fix that. Maybe we would have to go to the hospital and they would figure out what to do about it. They help people who are sick or hurt. Maybe I could go there to get some new teeth. Maybe they would have a tooth that someone lost, and maybe they would have something that they could attach it with."

2018-09-03

"If someone is mean to me, I'll say, 'The minx! How dare she!'"

Good to know Lily is working on her nineteenth-century insults.

(It was from a podcast about cats living in Ancient Egypt)

2018-09-05

[From Ange]

Me: "Anna drink some water"

Lily: "Do I have to drink some too?"

Me: "Yeah"

Lily: "Yeah cause hibernation is important"

(No, Lily, hydration is what you do in summer, hibernation is what you do in winter)

2018-09-06

[From Ange]

"I'm gonna throw this at Anna's face to scare her into falling in love with me. That's how it works, you scare people into falling in love with you, but you gotta scare them good" Lily has some questionable methods

2018-09-16

Lily's been having me tell her knock knock jokes, which she laughs at pro forma whether she understands them or not. But today I told her "knock knock / boo / ohh, why are you crying?" and she really got it. It was fun seeing her really get a joke.

2018-09-21

Anna, explaining to the nurse at the doctor's office: "I am the little sister. I am a big sister, but I can't fly yet. I need to get some wings."

Anna, the next day in the bath: "I'm a baby whale!" (rolls over and puts a washcloth on her back) "This is my 'pout."

Kids: the original transhumanists.

2018-09-30

Lily emerges from her room holding her "magic wand." "Mommy, I'm going to stay in my room because I don't want to hurt people with my powers. They're in my wand. They're getting stronger and stronger. So I'll be in my room."

2018-10-03

Anna: "This isn't your house, it is my house. I share it with you"

Me: "The house belongs to me and Mama"

Anna: "The house is my house"

Me: "Who did the house belong to before you were born?"

Anna: "It belongded to you and Mama"

Me: "And what happened when you were born?"

Anna: "You guys locked me in a cave"

2018-10-06

[From Ange]

Me: "Mine has avocado"

Anna: "Hey! I like! Avocado!!!"

Me: "Do you want some?"

Anna: "And I have seven grandpas"

2018-10-11

From Lily during bedtime tonight:

"I have a secret hiding place where I put things. It's my pillowcase. I pretend to be Santa Claus, but I need a Santa Claus costume."

"Sometimes a tear comes out of my eye when I'm not crying."

2018-10-11

Anna was looking into my face and announced, "There's stuff in your eyes." I didn't know what she was talking about until she looked more and said, "It's round stuff. It's circles." I asked if there was a black circle in the middle, and she said yes. "And there's green parts and yellow parts. And there's a little bit of white parts." There's that bit of anatomy sorted.

2018-10-15

Anna: "I told you the truth. Then you had some truth. Then I took my truth back."

I'm sure there are several professions where this approach well be helpful.

2018-10-18

Anna sang her giraffe to sleep last night with one of the songs Jeff sings to her:

"Raindrops on roses

When the cats bite...

When the dogs, when the pigs bite

When I'm feeling...

I like my favorite things!"

(I don't remember quite so many animal bites in the original, but I can see how you'd need some cheering up after that.)

2018-11-02

"My weeds are chasing me! They're wrapping around my feet! Run away fast!"

2018-11-05

We were telling Jeff about the workers we saw cutting down a tree on the bike path.

Lily: It was rotten.

Me: And they didn't want it to...

Anna: Fall!

Me: On somebody or on somebody's house.

Anna: Or fall on somebody sitting on a bench! 'Cause we would break. 'Cause we are glass.

Me: ...we're not made of glass. But we would still break if a tree fell on us.

Anna: Maybe wood?

Me: We're not made of wood. What are we made of?

Anna: Ham! We are pink all over.

2018-11-06

[From Ange]

Anna: "I only have one uncle. His name is Charlie"

Me: "But Alex is your uncle"

Anna: "No he is not"

Me: "Alice is your aunt and she married Alex so he's your uncle"

Anna: "When he grows up"

Me: "He's already your uncle, Anna"

Anna: "No he has to grow up!"

2018-11-10

After I told her we weren't going to the park right now, Anna glowers at me. "Mama, I'm MAD. I'm going to go upstairs and . . . " she struggles to think of something suitably dreadful "...read a book on my sister's bed!"

2018-11-12

Today Lily told us that it's bad to pick flowers because one fairy lives in each flower, and if flowers are picked the fairy will have a hard time growing another one. Then she said she's going to write letters to her friends and tell them not to pick so many flowers.

I was not predicting that her first activist campaign would be about fairy homelessness, but somehow it figures.

2018-11-13

Anna and Lily are still working through their Halloween candy, one piece a day. Today I talked with them about how they want to handle it when one of their buckets has run out but the other kid still had candy. They agreed that at that point they would share the remaining bucket.

(Much better to figure this out when they don't yet know who it is who will end up being the one who has to share.)

...

Eating one piece a day was also Lily's choice. The night of Halloween she ate candy until she didn't feel good, at which point she told me she wanted me to put her candy up on the fridge and just let her have one piece per day.

2018-11-14

Anna: "Papa, I don't eat grass. I eat butter, and salt, and shaky cheese, and butter"

2018-11-19

The ability of the human mind to generate perfectly rational reasons why it is upset, none of which is the real reason it is upset, is especially transparent in preschoolers.

Tonight Lily got set off by a crayon problem and then had several subsequent meltdowns because

• her teddy bear told her that he is going home to his family tomorrow and is never coming back
• she has thoughts about a snowman dressed as a fruit seller who will pick us all up and throw us in trash cans.

2018-11-23

Anna: "I saw one of your cough drops"

Julia: "Are you allowed to eat the cough drops?"

Anna: "No. Because I'm not a person."

(We've since explained that "adult" and "person" are different things)

2018-11-23

Me: "Anna, do you want a cuddle?"

Anna: "Yeah!"

Me: [cuddle]

Anna: "Not with you! I was talking about my mom."

2018-11-24

Anna has been given permission to start eating the gingerbread house she made yesterday, but she's overwhelmed by the size of the task and is just staring at it.

2018-11-29

Lily: "I found a bit of Anna's lollypop"

Me: "Did you eat it?"

Lily: "No"

Me: "Because you already brushed your teeth"

Lily: "... Let's brush my teeth again, just in case any little bits of food got stuck in them before and we missed them when we brushed them earlier"

2018-12-01

Anna, in my bed:

"Mama leave me alone. I'm a sea monster in my cage. I just need to snuggle down in the " [voice obscured by blanket]

2018-12-02

Things Lily repeatedly insists are real:

• fairies

Things Lily has been unsure about the realness of:

• gold
• crocodiles

2018-12-02

Anna: "I want to open the first door of Chanukah."

We have a little more clarification to do about the difference between an Advent calendar and a menorah.

2018-12-03

I asked Anna what song she wanted at bedtime.

"How 'bout 'Shake It Off'?"

"...I don't think I know enough of the words to that one."

"You stand on one foot and sing."

2018-12-06

Me: was it a long time ago?

Lily: no

Me: no?

Lily: I wasn't alive a long time ago

2018-12-07

Anna, looking at the globe:

(Points to Mongolia) And this is Massachoozzz where we live. (Points to China) And this is also Massachoozzz where we live. (Points to Indonesia) And this is MassachoozzCanada. (Points to Australia) And this is Somerville 12345. (Points to final letter in "Russia") And this is a letter that is for MY NAME!

2018-12-09

Well, the quadrant of the Christmas tree directly in front of where the kids happened to be standing when I gave them the box of decorations is very thoroughly decorated.

2018-12-09

Jeff's rule for Lily is that after she's been put to bed he won't come back in for 10 minutes, and after that she can make specific requests ("give me a hug" works but "I'm scared" does not.) Thus the voice over the baby monitor which is currently calmly announcing:

"Papa, I'm cold and scared. And hot. So please come in and hug me and turn on the fan and then close my door and then sing outside my door."

She got through this announcement a lot of times before the initial 10 minutes passed and Jeff went into ask her how she was both hot and cold.

2018-12-11

On the bus:

Lily: "what town is your house in?"

Stranger: "Medford"

Lily: "what color is it?"

Stranger: "white"

Lily: "what is your address?"

Stranger: "I don't know"

Lily: "maybe you could try looking it up on your phone?"

Stranger: "I don't think it's in my phone"

Lily: "how about you sit and think for a while, and when you remember your address you can let me know?"

Stranger: "ok, I'll think very hard"

2018-12-13

Lily: Anna, I'm trying to read that!

Anna: Well that's not my problem

2018-12-19

Anna's in her room talking loudly to her crib.

"Crib!

Are you my friend, crib?

Yes, crib!

No, crib!

No way, crib!"

2018-12-23

Self-defense by Anna:

"If a scary person comes to our house to play with me, I will say, go away! And I will go to my room and get my pillow and BAP them."

2018-12-23

Anna: "I didn't punch Lily. I just close my hand inna fist and push into her belly"

2018-12-27

Lily pulls out the ethical stops at 10:20 pm as I'm about to close her bedroom door. "There's something that is not fair," she tells me. I ask her what.

"Killing animals."

I dither for a few minutes. She eventually determines that she will eat bacon and dairy but not ham. This is what she already decided two months ago. (She decided around the same time that she no longer likes peanut butter, so it's not clear to me that the exclusion of ham was ethically motivated.)

She got a good four-minute delay out of the topic, I think.

2018-12-28

Anna: "Papa, when I'm bigger than you I will say 'Papa, I am a grown-up'."

2018-12-29

Anna: "I wish I were a steam shovel. I would have a big bucket to carry dirt around"

2018-12-30

I zoned out while the kids were eating snack, and when I started paying attention again they had gotten married and were lovingly holding hands and gazing at each other.

Lily informed me while continuing with her snack, "Mama, me and Anna have decided to always be sisters and always be friends. And we will never fight and never yell at each other." Anna was interested in marrying Lily again, but Lily wanted to go bring cheese and crackers to Nathan.

2018-12-31

"It is always midnight in the ocean."

Lily, trying to make sense of my explanation of time zones and how 8 pm is midnight somewhere.