I came back a week later and tried to redo this one by making really solid tracks with comping and layering them. The timing was right but it was kind of lifeless. I didn't finish.
My first version (mp3) was with real brass (trumpet and baritone) but I'm not that good at punchy playing with them, often failing to get it to come in at the right time. I bought Sample Modeling's Trombone3 and that's what you're hearing in the final version. The main advantage of the midi ones is there are things I'm never going to be able to play myself that they can do easily, though the lines here are ones I could probably handle fine, with enough practice.
I think I didn't have the lead sax high enough in the monitor when recording, so I overblew and it's not expressive enough.